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ICE Revives VOICE Office: “Because Nothing Says ‘Freedom’ Like a Hotline for Blaming Immigrants” • Harvard Closes Its Gates. China Offers Wi-Fi, Dumplings, and Tenure • Apple Unveils Smart Doorbell with Face ID: “If We Can Unlock Your Phone, Why Not Your House?” • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something”
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NeuroPatriot – The Surveillance Suburb

NeuroPatriot Cover

A dystopian serial about regulated feelings, suppressed memories, and glitching systems that learn to care.
Vol. 1: The Cognitive Purge

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Latest Absurdity

Trump’s Brainstem Breaks Silence

In an exclusive interview, Donald Trump's brainstem speaks out: “I’ve been in survival mode since the escalator.”

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Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.