BREAKING NEWS:

Fur and Fury: Lab Mice Exposed to 4chan Begin Hoarding Beans, Quoting Conspiracies • Nintendo Delays Switch 2 Preorders Over Tariffs: “Mario Can’t Afford to Jump This High” • Trump Threatens to Annex Canada “By Christmas” After Liberal Victory • New Miracle Weight-Loss Pill Works—As Long As You Don’t Eat, Sleep, or Breathe • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All”

Follow the Glitch

Articles tagged: Medicare

“Hospitality Care” Plan Unveiled: U.S. Hospitals Join Airbnb Amid Bed Shortage Crisis

“Hospitality Care” Plan Unveiled: U.S. Hospitals Join Airbnb Amid Bed Shortage Crisis

U.S. News | May 27, 2025 | By nicola

Critically injured patients now required to book overnight stays via mobile app. Surgeons may be shared between listings.

Read More

U.S. Launches First Subscription Surgery Bundle: “Health You Can Pay Monthly For”

U.S. Launches First Subscription Surgery Bundle: “Health You Can Pay Monthly For”

U.S. News | May 22, 2025 | By nicola

For just $799/month, Americans can now get half a colonoscopy, one emergency prayer, and the illusion of access.

Read More

U.S. Launches “Don’t Get Sick” Wellness Campaign

U.S. Launches “Don’t Get Sick” Wellness Campaign

U.S. News | May 17, 2025 | By nicola

New federal program encourages citizens to “simply not collapse” under late-stage capitalism.

Read More

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.