BREAKING NEWS:
Airline Apologizes After Flight to Tel Aviv “Accidentally” Lands in Gaza Strip • BREAKING: Vatican accidentally baptizes entire CERN particle accelerator. Water now considered conscious. • Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand” • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All” • President Trump Says He Gets Along Great With Dictators: 'Strong Men, Stronger Handshakes'
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