BREAKING NEWS:
Quantum Dating Ruined My Timeline (And I Think I Liked It) • BREAKING: Florida Governor Approves “Thought Loyalty Tests” for All Public Employees, Says Anyone Who Dreams in Blue or Feels Empathy After 11 PM May Be a Federal Plant or AI Sentient Threat • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • “Hospitality Care” Plan Unveiled: U.S. Hospitals Join Airbnb Amid Bed Shortage Crisis • U.S. Slashes Health Research Budget: “Who Needs Science When You’ve Got Faith and WebMD?”
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