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White House Launches "Project WOMB" to Boost Birth Rates with $5,000 Bonuses and Ovulation Surveillance • MAGA in the Mirror: When Trump and Musk Divorce, Who Gets Custody of the Base? • Nikola Tesla Returns, Admits Arson: “I Burned the Self-Driving Cars” • Israel Accidentally Declares Itself a Religion After National Identity Database Crashes into Digital Torah Prototype • New AI Dating App Pairs You Based on Your Deepest Abandonment Issues
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