News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
Noem Goes Full Tactical • Pope Leo XIV Revealed as AI Trained on Scripture and Elon Musk Tweets • New Government Program Accidentally Turns Entire Nation into Real-Life Episode of Black Mirror • BREAKING: Vatican accidentally baptizes entire CERN particle accelerator. Water now considered conscious. • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All”
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