BREAKING NEWS:
Trump Suspends All Tariffs Except China’s: “Everyone Can Kiss My Ass—Except Xi, He Can Wait in Line” • Obama Divorce Rumors Spark Chaos: "Even Hope and Change Are Sleeping in Separate Rooms" • U.N. Recognizes Mushroom Kingdom as Observer State After Mario Kart Audit • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • Google Introduces Incognito Mode for Real Life, Beta Testers Already Missing
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