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Musk Fires Himself for Incompetence, Replaced by AI That Hates Him • Belly Button Piercings Make a Comeback: Millennials Reluctantly Dig Out Old Scar Tissue • U.S. Slashes Health Research Budget: “Who Needs Science When You’ve Got Faith and WebMD?” • New AI Dating App Pairs You Based on Your Deepest Abandonment Issues • Google Introduces Incognito Mode for Real Life, Beta Testers Already Missing
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