BREAKING NEWS:
Former Twitter Now Self-Aware, Refuses To Be Called X • Tesla Rapture • America’s Newest Power Couple: You and Your Blender • Pelosi Accused of Orchestrating Biden's Exit Months in Advance Using Ancient Jesuit Timing Charts • Trump Suspends All Tariffs Except China’s: “Everyone Can Kiss My Ass—Except Xi, He Can Wait in Line”
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