News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
Musk Fires Himself for Incompetence, Replaced by AI That Hates Him • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • Apple Unveils Smart Doorbell with Face ID: “If We Can Unlock Your Phone, Why Not Your House?” • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife” • U.S. Launches First Subscription Surgery Bundle: “Health You Can Pay Monthly For”
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