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New AI Dating App Pairs You Based on Your Deepest Abandonment Issues • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • Is He Still Trump? • Florida Declares Independence • BREAKING: Florida Governor Approves “Thought Loyalty Tests” for All Public Employees, Says Anyone Who Dreams in Blue or Feels Empathy After 11 PM May Be a Federal Plant or AI Sentient Threat
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