BREAKING NEWS:

Therapy Out, Fermentation In: Urban Liberals Turn to Artisanal Vinegar and Leaf Confessionals • Apple Unveils iGod • BREAKING: Constitution Replaced by Freedom+™ Subscription Model • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something”

Follow the Glitch

Articles tagged: Healthcare2025

U.S. Launches “Don’t Get Sick” Wellness Campaign

U.S. News | May 17, 2025 | By nicola

New federal program encourages citizens to “simply not collapse” under late-stage capitalism.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.