News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
ICE Declares Compassion a Threat, Recommends DeEmpathize Pro™ for Emotional Offenders • U.S. and Iran to Restart Nuclear Talks in Oman: “Nothing Says Peace Like a Neutral Desert and a Thousand Microphones” • Nintendo Announces New Console That Only Works When You're Sad • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • Tesla Rapture
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