BREAKING NEWS:
U.S. Slashes Health Research Budget: “Who Needs Science When You’ve Got Faith and WebMD?” • National Siblings Day Declared Federal Emergency After Millions Try to Reconnect with People They’ve Blocked Since 2012 • Millions Protest Trump and Musk in “Hands Off!” March: "Get Your Billionaire Hands Out of My Medicaid" • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • ICE Revives VOICE Office: “Because Nothing Says ‘Freedom’ Like a Hotline for Blaming Immigrants”
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