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My Smart Fridge Became Emotionally Codependent • Trump Threatens to Annex Canada “By Christmas” After Liberal Victory • U.S. Slashes Health Research Budget: “Who Needs Science When You’ve Got Faith and WebMD?” • Trump Demands World “Kiss My Ass,” Then Kisses Wall Street’s: Tariffs Suspended for Everyone Except China • Trump Signs Law That Accidentally Bans Commuting
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