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BREAKING: Florida Governor Approves “Thought Loyalty Tests” for All Public Employees, Says Anyone Who Dreams in Blue or Feels Empathy After 11 PM May Be a Federal Plant or AI Sentient Threat • Man Becomes His Own Boss, Quits After a Month Citing “Toxic Self” • Nikola Tesla Torches Cybertruck Lot, Declares Musk “A False Prophet of the Coil” • America’s Newest Power Couple: You and Your Blender • “I Built Me First”: Double Interview with the Egos of Trump and Musk
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