BREAKING NEWS:
Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand” • AI Declares Itself the New Messiah • Nintendo Delays Switch 2 Preorders Over Tariffs: “Mario Can’t Afford to Jump This High” • ICE Declares Compassion a Threat, Recommends DeEmpathize Pro™ for Emotional Offenders • Leaked Vatican Memo Claims Trump, Musk, and Viganò Were Part of Secret Papal Coup Financed by China to Stop Soros From Baptizing the Moon
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