Trump Claims He’s the “True Pope” After Finding Hidden Chapel in Mar-a-Lago Sauna
Elon Musk offers to 3D-print new Vatican on Mars, Viganò says it's all part of “the Final Schism,” China denies everything but offers incense.
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nicola
Professional satirist and absurdity specialist at Filthee.news.
Member since: April 2025
Articles published: 108
Articles by nicola
National Siblings Day Declared Federal Emergency After Millions Try to Reconnect with People They’ve Blocked Since 2012
Nationwide spike in passive-aggressive texts, therapy sessions, and suddenly reactivated Facebook accounts.
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Apple Unveils Smart Doorbell with Face ID: “If We Can Unlock Your Phone, Why Not Your House?”
New HomeOS ecosystem includes camera surveillance, passive-aggressive notifications, and a gentle reminder that you're not rich enough for it.
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Pelosi Accused of Orchestrating Biden's Exit Months in Advance Using Ancient Jesuit Timing Charts
Leaked documents suggest ex-Speaker may have manipulated Democratic primaries from a fortified wine cellar beneath San Francisco.
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Leaked Vatican Memo Claims Trump, Musk, and Viganò Were Part of Secret Papal Coup Financed by China to Stop Soros From Baptizing the Moon
Anonymous source says Pope was nearly replaced with an AI clone powered by MyPillow and incense.
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Christian Right Declares War on Empathy: “Feelings Are a Gateway Drug to Socialism”
From pulpits to podcasts, compassion is now being rebranded as moral weakness—and possibly communist.
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University of Houston Student Outraged Hinduism Isn’t Taught Like His Aunt’s WhatsApp Forwards
Political science major files complaint after discovering college professors teach religion using books.
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Arizona’s Christians Now Outnumbered by People Who Believe in “Vibes”
Pew survey reveals more Arizonans now believe in sage smoke, astrology, and “something out there” than in organized religion.
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Russia and Ukraine to Settle War on Reality Show: “Survivor: Peace Talks Island”
Putin, Zelenskyy, and NATO ambassadors compete for the Immunity of Ceasefire.
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U.S. and Iran to Restart Nuclear Talks in Oman: “Nothing Says Peace Like a Neutral Desert and a Thousand Microphones”
Both sides promise “constructive dialogue” and “only mild passive aggression.”
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